Phone Call

 

I pulled out my phone while the man beside me was breathing down my neck. I started to dial and sidestepped away from him. He took a step closer.

Mind backing up a little” I asked. “Thanks”. I called my brother. “Tyler, I just had a thought”.

Dude, I’m suited up for an interview so this better be important” said Tyler. I imagined the sight, his short stature and his formal attire. It looked like a child holding a clipboard.

It is” I replied. “So what if an acapella group-”?

Tyler stopped me. “If this is one of your puns, I swear, I’m changing the Netflix password”.

It’s not, it’s not” I assured. “So if an acapella group got into gardening…”?

This is a pun Bruce, admit it” replied Tyler.

I’m telling you, it’s not” I defended. “So if an acapella group got into gardening, would they call their band Pitches and Hoes”?

Tyler groaned on the phone “I’m going to give that a negative four out of ten”.

I got a dissatisfied look from the man beside me. “No but seriously, I called to tell you about my emergency cigarettes”.

Tyler expected another pun saying “Ok…”.

There’s a box under my bed and it has about three in there. If you’re going for an interview, take them. Just buy a packet of mints as well. Pop a mint after your cigarette”.

Tyler was shook by the lack of a punchline. “Ok, thanks”.

And Tyler, you’ll be fine. No matter what happens, you’ll be fine. I love you”.

Ok man, I got to go, but thanks for the cigarettes, and the advice”.

Anytime Tyler” and I hung up. I turned to the man behind me. “Thanks for bending the rules. I’m ready to go now”.

 

Technically, the glass from the windscreen broke my heart. But Tyler looking at the car crash, that is what broke my heart.  He roared like a missile, aware of its purpose as it fell through the sky. Being ok was an impossible thing. And he would go on believing this for the rest of his life. But when he checked the time of our last call, he understood impossible things can happen.

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Allure

 

diamondI came across a talking diamond

I picked it up and listened to what was said

It spoke of how it wasn’t pretty yet

Wanting my shade of red

Now my pants are black and my jacket is green

Whatever could the diamond mean

 

I woke in a groggy state

Crimson nightmares hurled me into the waking land

Where the diamond had turned pink

And lay sleeping in my hand

The clock mocked

As the energy needed for simple tasks shocked

But it does not matter

How awfully slow the days go by

For I have my talking diamond

Always by my side

 

I now have a pale complexion

And shadows under my eyes

Upon closer inspection

Yet the cause of all this

There is no detection

Until my talking diamond spoke

One last time

About the shade of red

It could never find

It said rubies get all the fame

So to match is to mimic

And to mimic is to be the same

Within my veins coursed its shade of red

It knows I am too weak

To get out of bed

The diamond will be pretty

The ruby has been fed

I’m No Good at Titles

I really hate rhyme

Could never get the hang of it

Or keep it in time

It should be banned across the nation

And don’t get me started on alliteration

 

Answers towards alliteration elude me with ease

Which is a shame because it is a skill to savour

A serenade of words sung by those with style

But one thing I loath lower than alliteration

Is fine language

 

I stand at a precipice when faced

With the more articulated parts of the language

I view such trivial efforts to sound educated

As a fruitless endeavour

Wrought with pretension and solitude

From those of virtue and truth

 

When all these aspects of writing

Stand like termites together

They charge at me with a united cause

Birds of a feather

Determined to give a monstrous migraine

To this man who would not

Pity any and all who deem these cheap maneuvers

As something that should be sought

Moon Over Me

Seven billion members of humankind

And me

With a difference the mirror cannot see

The earth was not the first to touch my feet

I spend my nights looking at the stone in the sky

After days of mingling with a species that isn’t mine

 

Seven billion members of humankind

And she

Is the one with a heartbeat for me

She assumes I am what she can see

She thinks we are in tune

But my heart points me to the moon

 

Seven billion members of humankind

And we

Were born not to be

I want to reach inside of me

Remould what is wrong and have a human heart

Our true loves are so close but we are too far aparteye-1202254_1280